I smile.I laugh.I act like nothing's wrong. I ignore the insensitivity. I pretend not to hear the hurtful words. I don't take notice. And I continue on with daily life like nothing ever happened.
That's me. I bottle up my feelings, keep 'em to myself. I do eventually open up to a few people, those I can trust enough to discuss matters. Sometimes though, it all just seems too much.
So I blow up.
I'm not really good at confrontations I think. I can when required to, but when it happens, I breakdown. I get so caught up with words trying to come out of my mouth, I end up bawling afterwards. (in a very ladylike manner of course ;) )
Don't worry. It doesn't happen all the time. More on rare occasions.
Crying my eyes out is just one part. Another part includes, word vomit. Yup, the desire to speak out my mind, all the bits and pieces I've been holding back all the while.
Sometimes...they're not too nice. But I do try not to let my emotions get the best of me. Coz if I don't I just know there will be bad consequences. Nasty ones. You'd be surprised by how sarcastic and cynical I can get.
No wonder they say it's always creepier when a quiet or calm person loses it compared to one who's always getting on people's cases. You just see a side you've never witnessed before. And maybe, you won't ever want to.
Personally, I blame hormones sometimes. Especially during that time of the month. Sheesh.
I'm working on it though. So bear with me.
For now =)
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